Thursday, February 2, 2012


     The last Oprah show occasioned mourning in my home. Mourning from my wife.
     She lived her life by the Gospel According to Oprah. If Oprah said it, it was so. Irrefutably so.
     The saving grace was that Oprah seldom spouted advice on how to live. No, she was more into "This is my guest today, and -- wow! -- isn't he great?" and "This book changed my life" shows. To me, this meant that my wife tried to follow Oprah's example and left me to follow my own heathen ways. Okay, there was some prodding that I should 'get with the program' but, unlike the Borg, resistance to Oprah was not futile.
     Then came the demon stepchild of Oprah: Doctor Oz.
     Doctor Oz is nothing but advice on how to live. "Eat this. Don't eat that. Exercise this way. I know better than you." If Oprah gave us Gospels, Oz gives Epistles, Proverbs, and Commandments.
     For example, Doctor Oz hosted a show on 'superfoods': blueberries, tofu, broccoli, and I-can't-remember-the-other-two. That day, we went to the market. What do you think we bought? That evening I had a meal of blueberries, tofu, and broccoli -- in the same dish! Gag.
     The next day, Oz said something different, and we were off and running again, chasing after some TV-inspired illusion of perfection.
     I don't know what black magic Oz performed on his show today. I assiduously want NOT to know. I pray that it doesn't kill me before tomorrow when the dicta will change and again we will go haring off to see the Wizard.

     "That's how we keep you young and fair / In the merry old land of Oz."

Well, the clip from the movie has been withdrawn. Here is an audio clip:

     (PS I miss Oprah.)


1 comment:

  1. My deepest sympathies. I'm not a fan of Dr. Oz, though I think Oprah has done wonderful things for female consciousness-raising. If I date myself with that description, so be it.

    My mom sounds a lot like your wife, but her authority isn't Dr. Oz. It's whatever she hears on her favourite radio programs from the CBC, and reads in the poorly edited local newspapers.

    However, as a lover of blueberries and brocoli, I just have to say, "Man up!"

    Okay...maybe not in the same dish, however.

    (Can't eat tofu in any significant amounts -- have a real problem with soy which isn't quite an allergy but is definitely an intolerance.)