Dingfelder's : Borscht and Dr Brown's Root Beer (Two of six . . . I combined some posts.)

 

*

Link to Dingfelder's Delicatessen. 

We arrived at Dingfelder's on a Thursday. Soup-of-the-day was borscht. Was not always borscht. I saw a photo of Dingfelder's menu from years back on Yelp that gave Harvest Vegetable as the soup for Thursday. 

When I ordered, Ari told me that this was the summer borscht and asked if I still wanted the borscht. I said, "Sure." Had never heard of summer borscht. How does summer borscht differ from winter borscht? Or fall borscht? Or spring borscht? 

There is a difference. Dingfelder's summer borscht uses gold beets. Big surprise for me. Never had gold beets before. Until that moment, I did not know gold beets existed. 

Summer borscht looked nothing like the red beet borscht I like. Looks more like a vegetable soup. Hmm. Shades of Harvest vegetable, what? On the plus side, the textures were good. Not overcooked and mushy, not undercooked and chewy. On the minus side, I tasted vinegar. That was the dominant note. My wife took one taste and never touched the borscht again. The vinegar was a deal killer for her. 

Dr Brown's Root Beer. I like root beer. FWIW I like sarsaparilla, too, but that's a rare find. I like ginger beer, too, and have been meaning to brew some. 

Anyway, Dingfelder's displayed the sodas they offer. Dr Brown's Root Beer was one of 'em. Decided to try it. Glad I did. Whoever chose this drink for Dingfelder's did well. Good taste but not brash. Not too sweet. Excellent choice. 

Borscht: B+ 

Dr Brown's Root Beer: A 

Yelp photos of Dingfelder's food, Dingfelder's menu, and Vance Dingfelder. 

Next time . . . Gribenes and Latkes. 

* This photo I got off the internet. It is not from Dingfelder's. I took no pictures that day. My bad. 

Dingfelder's : Mother's chicken soup (One of eight . . . or nine)

 

I want to start this review off right. Here is the link to Dingfelder's Delicatessen.  

We had mom's chicken soup, pickles, borscht, gribenes, latkes, a Reuben Corned Beef sandwich on rye, a chopped chicken liver on onion roll, and beef tongue on rye. I shall treat each item in a separate review. 

Today I shall review mom's chicken soup and the pickles. 

If you chased the link above to Dingfelder's, you may have noticed that mom' chicken soup is not on the menu. There is a story there.  

When I planned this trip, I saw a blog that listed Dingfelder's Deli among the ten best sandwich shops in Seattle. There were others, but Dingfelder's . . . there is a name that stands out. I put Dingfelder's Deli on my 'Must Visit' list and continued my planning. 

I executed my plan, and we arrived at Dingfelder's one afternoon. One Thursday afternoon. This will be important when I review their borscht. 

Ari, polite and helpful, took our first order. Soon after our order arrived, Vance Dingfelder -- the owner his own self -- joined us and struck up a conversation. 

For his cooking skills and business, Vance credits his grandmothers. There are photos of them on the walls. Not small photos. Billboard-size photos. 

Vance asked me how I found his eatery. I told him Dingfelder's Delicatessen popped on on my computer as one of the ten best restaurants in Seattle. Vance lost his smile and peered at me through narrowed eyes. It was clear he did not believe me. (I swear it was true.) Vance keeps a cynical appreciation of his deli's place in the Seattle restaurant pecking order. We then talked about Bateau restaurant. Vance said he goes there once a month, but from all the stories he told me of his sojourns there, I think he eats at Bateau more often than that. 

My wife and I each finished a latke while Vance talked. That is when Vance excused himself to the kitchen and brought back two cups of Mother's Chicken Soup. The soup was full of vegetables and goodness. Serious Jewish penicillin. Don't know, but I think this is the base for "Grandma" Matzo Ball Soup. Wife liked it. I liked it. 

Pickles. Dingfelder's serves pickles as sides to sandwiches. Their pickles include cucumbers and green tomatoes. Pickled together? Don't know but to me the tastes say yes. Kosher? I think so, but mild with a hint of sweetness. Reminded me of  the taste of bread-and-butter pickles. Excellent. 

Mother's Chicken Soup: A- 

The pickles: A 

Next time . . . Borscht. 

One more time, the link : https://dingfelders.com/ 

Embassy Suites - SeaTac – Good, Bad, and Ugly

Bunny and I stayed at the Embassy Suites – SeaTac; that is, not the Embassy Suites in downtown Seattle.

Dark when we walked out of the airport at 10.40 pm to hunt for a shuttle bus. Called for a shuttle and went to the hotel.

The Good:

Most of my experience with Embassy Suites is with the Embassy Suites – Santa Clara. A Silicon Valley company put me up there when they brought me in to interview. First time in an Embassy Suites hotel. I enjoyed the space.

After a day of interviews, I returned to the hotel and freshened up. As I washed my face, my tongue said to me, "Sashimi." I heeded my tongue.

Descended to the reception desk where I found two young men. I asked the one on my left if he knew a good sushi bar. He turned to his partner – a Japanese-looking young man – and said, "Hey, Steve*, you know a good sushi bar?"

* Honestly I do not recall his name, but Steve popped into my head when I thought back to that evening, and it is no more wrong than any other name, so let's go with Steve.

Steve glared sidelong at his partner and answered, "Yeah, the one my parents own."

I don't know about you, but I found this amusing. I thought, Have you two met?

Anyway, Steve directed me to his parents' sushi bar. Even drew me a map. FYI this was before Google. Yeah, I'm old.

Drove to the sushi bar. Matsuri. That was its name. Means 'festival'. Yeah, I speak Japanese. No, I don't read Japanese. Well, maybe eight words.

Enjoyed the food and the ambiance at Matsuri. Steve's mom played hostess. She saved a seat for me at the bar. Evidently Steve called her to make a place for me. Steve did well.

When I got home, I wrote a letter to the president of Embassy Suites to praise Steve. Had to go to the library to find who was the president of and what was the address of Embassy Suites. FYI no worldwide web at this time. Yeah, I'm old. Posted the letter.

Other companies brought me to Silicon Valley for interviews. None of them put me up in a hotel as nice as Embassy Suites. The company that did put me up in Embassy Suites offered me a job, and I took it. Moved to Silicon Valley.

One evening after I moved there, my tongue said, "Sashimi." Drove to Matsuri again.

Place was packed. No seat open anywhere.

Steve's mom recognized me and came running over with a big smile. DEEP bow . . . and a handshake! "Come. Come," she said. She made all the customers at the bar scoot together and put up another stool for me. All the while, she called me 'Keith-sama.' If you know Japanese, you know what a big deal that is.

I sat, ordered tako sashimi, and cleaned my hands with the oshiburi. Big guy with a beard next to me looked me over and said, "You must be somebody special."

I smiled. "Must be."

Spent many, many happy evenings at Matsuri. That letter in praise of Steve did as much for me as for him.

Spent many happy evenings at Embassy Suites – Santa Clara, too. Made a habit of spending New Year's Eve and New Year's Day there. I recall watching the movie 'The Fugitive' for the first time there.

Stayed at other Embassy Suites, too, but my guess is that all other stays added up will not equal the number of my stays at Embassy Suites – Santa Clara.

Back to Embassy Suites – SeaTac.

Tyler worked the desk at Embassy Suites – SeaTac. I talked to Tyler on the phone before we booked our stay, and he impressed me with his local knowledge. Met him the morning after we arrived and he impressed me again. The man knows his job and more. He went beyond his job to help me while I was a guest at his hotel. Outstanding individual effort. I am confident if I book the Embassy Suites – SeaTac again, Tyler will take care of me.

Jon drives the shuttle bus during the day. Every time I saw Jon, he brightened my day. Big smile at all times. Cheerful. Helpful. Went out of his way to make our day better. Outstanding individual effort.

It is the people who make an experience good or bad. Tyler and Jon made my experience at Embassy Suites - SeaTac good.

Honorable mention:

Julia and the breakfast crew. Each of them was pleasant, cheerful, and good at their job. I name only Julia because she was the only one whose name tag I saw. The others had their backs to me while they worked the grill. Good food made by good people.

Maria with housekeeping greeted me with a smile when she brought us extra towels. Humored me by conversing in Spanish, too.

My wife is a professional chef, and she sees things I do not. The woman who bussed tables impressed her. My wife tipped her for her good work.

The Bad:

I like to think I am a patient man, but after two long flights, TSA Kibuki-theater, and wandering through SeaTac airport to find a way out, my patience evaporated.

The courtesy phone to call for a hotel shuttle at SeaTac Airport is ridiculously and unnecessarily complicated. I do not know, but I suspect it is the product of the fevered imagination of a local government committee with zero experience in design.

With some study – believe me, after two flights, clearing customs, the drunk-with-authority hassle of TSA Kibuki-theater, and treks through three airports, I was tired and in no temper to study – and three failed attempts, I got through to our hotel and called for their shuttle bus.

The hotel clerk told me to go to D4. Or C1. Somewhere.

"No. You tell the driver to come to me. I'm at," I looked up, "C3."

Clerk said, "Okay. Look for a van with Embassy Suites on a paper in the window."

I swear to God that is what she said. Aye and begorra, a white van showed up with an eight-and-a-half-by-eleven sheet of paper taped to the front window on the passenger side with 'Embassy Suites' in large, bold letters printed on it.

Embassy Suites. Look. You are not 'Joe and Mabel's Roadside Cottages'. Pay to get your van painted with your name. All the other hotels have their vans painted that way. I counted two off-airport parking lots with shuttles that were painted with their broadsides. Get with the cool kids.

If you have not read Nick Stephenson, I recommend you do: https://www.yourfirst10kreaders.com/. Sign up for Nick's emails. They contain droll musings on his children, his life, and his fancies. They also contain useful, valuable information.

One series of emails Nicks sent reflected on his family trip to Disneyland France (the cold one) in December 2020. He analyzed Disney as a business. His analysis boiled down to this: Disney works hard to make the Disney experience frictionless for its guests.

You should strive to do the same.

Christ and Buddha, I should strive to do the same.

Can I explain what 'frictionless' means? Nick said it means 'stress free'.

The shuttle to Embassy Suites was not frictionless.

The ride was good. No problem. Getting in the hotel sucked.

Our driver unloaded our bags and strolled over to sit and chat with someone. We took our bags and went to the entrance.

I tried to open the door. No joy. Then I notice the sign that read 'DOOR IS LOCKED AFTER 11 PM'. Guess what time it was. I rattled the door, turned and called to the driver to open the door for us. A clerk ambled to the entrance and unlocked the door.

Embassy Suites – SeaTac, when guests arrive late, GET THEM IN THE DOOR! Make this the duty of the driver.

The desk clerk told me the hotel was full. I pulled out my phone and showed her a photo of my Embassy Suites confirmation. Lo and behold, they did have a room for us. We got our keycards, wife bought some instant noodles, and we took the one working elevator to the fifth floor. Found our room; that search was easy. Went in. Found the lights. Two full-size beds. I ordered a suite with a single king bed. Descended to the desk and asked the clerk to change my room.

"We're full. Maybe I can change your room tomorrow."

Not what I wanted to hear. Especially since I had PAID IN ADVANCE for the room I wanted.

Not frictionless. Most definitely not frictionless.

Asked for a 5am alarm call.

Back to the room, unpacked, fell into bed. The Good: Comfortable bed.

Awoke at 6am. Honest to Buddha, my first thought was, I did not get a wake-up call.

Got dressed. Left wife asleep and went down to breakfast. Passed by the reception desk. Clerk called me to the desk. Same clerk as before.

"What time did you want your alarm call?"

"Five A-M."

"This is what I wrote down." Showed me a scrap of paper with 3am and my room number written on it. "I called then, but I wasn't sure. I heard it ring once and hung up because I was scared I got it wrong."

I know that I will never waste my time asking for a wake-up call at Embassy Suites again.

Wife woke at 8am and hurried to get to breakfast. Tyler showed up to work and – miracle of miracles – things got smooth. Told him I had business downtown and he told me how to get there with the least fuss. Told Tyler of my woes and he promised to see what he could do for me while I was away.

Jon showed up and things got brighter and easier.

Then we got on the Light Rail and things went to shyte.

Some years ago, there was a fire in the subway where we live. The planned reaction did what it was designed to do, but that was not the right thing to do.

Two hundred people died.

Less than a year later, a crazy man squirted lighter fluid in the aisle of a subway car and lit it. As a result of the previous fire, the cars had been fitted with extinguishers. Nobody died including the crazy arsonist who was tackled by other passengers and beaten unconscious. He was lucky that the transport cops sped to the scene and took him away.

So we were riding the Light Rail when a crazy woman squirted light motor oil in the aisle of the car we were in. My wife panicked 'cause she remembered the events in our town. When the train stopped at the next station, she herded everybody off the train and pulled the alarm. Transport cops came and finished unloading everyone from the train. Crazy woman hefted her belongings in a black garbage bag, swore at the cops, and made her escape. The transport cops did not follow her.

Minutes passed. Train left the station empty. Everybody piled into the next train, and away we went. Minus one crazy woman.

Seattle is a failed city. Whoever is responsible for the Light Rail is incompetent and MUST BE FIRED. By your gross negligence, you endangered the lives of hundreds of passengers. Worse, you endangered my wife's life.

The Ugly:

Both Tyler and Jon spoke of the hotel manager in glowing terms. As a paying guest, my opinion differs.

When I returned to the hotel, Tyler was still working. He collared me and informed me that, when he checked, I was still being charged for a king-sized bed (!) but that he had changed that to the lower rate and added a $20 discount. He asked if I wanted to swap rooms. I told him my wife liked the room and wanted to stay. Tyler smiled and said he would discount my two remaining nights.

This is great service. Where did Tyler learn to give such great service?

I cannot believe he learned it from the hotel manager. IMO the other clerks have not been trained at all. I doubt they can find the toilet without someone to hold their hand.

For instance, the night I arrived I asked the clerk if the hotel had courtesy toiletries – including a razor – for guests. She said, 'No.' The next morning, I asked Tyler the same question. He said, 'Of course', turned around, and pulled out a big drawer that was filled with toiletry packets. Grabbed one and handed it to me.

The hotel had two elevators. One was out of service during the duration of our stay. Never saw a workman on it. The other elevator ran hot all day every day.

Why was there no workman on the elevator?

This is a failure of management.

Embassy Suites. At the corporate level, who is responsible for employee training? Fire him.^† Pour encourager les autres. Find the best clerks in the company – like Tyler – and ask them 1) what they do and 2) what is their attitude about what they do. WTSD and drill it into every clerk in the company. Same with shuttle drivers. Those drivers are the first contact your guests have with your company. Do they represent you well or ill?

^† If you say 'We have no such position', then the responsibility falls to the president. Fire him.

Best if you follow each of these top performers with a videographer all day and record everything they do so you can figure out what makes the great emploees great and share that with others.

The Embassy Suites hotel manager must be doing something right to generate such loyalty in employees like Tyler and Jon, but I did not see it.

The money question: Will I book another stay at the Embassy Suites – SeaTac?

For Tyler, Jon, Julia and the breakfast crew, and Maria, yes, I will. Great people make a great experience. Maybe next time my wife will swim in the pool.

Coming up: Reviews of Dingfelder's Delicatessen and its food. That's right. Reviews. Plural.

Hawaiian Airlines – Good, Bad, and Ugly

"Next time: Our trip to Seattle and Hawaiian Airlines good and bad. "

That was the end of my last post. Time to fulfill that promise.

Bunny and I flew Hawaiian Airlines redeye on an Airbus 330 to Honolulu. Landed minutes after 11am and collected our bags to pass through Customs. Surprised to find Customs easy and the Customs officer friendly. She smiled the whole time.

Got lost in the airport. Finally made it to our next plane to fly to Seattle. TSA was not fun.

Landed at SeaTac airport after 10pm. Found the courtesy phone at curbside. Takes a genius to figure out the hotel courtesy phone. Fortunately I am a genius. Dialed up Embassy Suites SeaTac and their shuttle bus came for us.

The Good:

M, our flight attendant, was the best thing about our flight from Honolulu to Seattle. Only my stewardess on a Korean Air flight was equal to M.

M was attentive, helpful (suggested a way for me to get my bag into the overhead bin), and cheerful (always smiled). We flew economy class, and a good attendant makes a big difference.

It is the people who make an experience good or bad. M made my experience on that flight good.

The Bad:

I do not like Airbus planes. The passenger space feels cheap to me. I had trouble finding the earphone jack. Some A330s have it in the arm rest. Some have it below the screen. When I got plugged in, I had to turn the jack in the socket to get a connection. At Airbus, quality is job four hundred eighty-seven.

The light switches and the call switch are not intuitive. Any rational person – that is, not a Frenchman – would place the switch next to the device. So where did Airbus put 'em?

In the screen.

That's right. Along with the list of movies and cartoons available, there is an icon to bring up the switches. In a previous life, I worked man-machine interface design. I am qualified to judge this design.

This is a FAIL.

Hawaiian Airlines in-flight food gets a C. Not a C+. I got a drink with the meal. When I asked for water later, the attendant (not M) brought me a bottle and said, "That will be four dollars."

Look, Hawaiian Air, rather than charge your customers for water, fire some executives. If your executives are okay with the nickel and dime treatment, you need to get rid of 'em anyway.

Hawaiian Airlines has in-flight video documentaries and in-flight magazine articles about the lives of their employees doing good deeds in Hawaii. Hawaiian Airlines has in-flight video documentaries about native Hawaiian life.

That is all well and good.

But it is wrong.

Seems to me that Hawaiian Air is in the business of selling Hawaii. That is stupid. People have already bought Hawaii. Hawaii is on my list of places to go and visit for a while. How to get there? That is the question.

The head of Hawaiian Air needs a two-by-four counseling session to remind him that he is in the business of selling transportation. Seats on flights. Nothing else.

When I flew Hawaiian Air, the attendants had the last row of seats screened off. These seats were for use of the attendants. By my reckoning that was $4,200 lost. Woulda paid for my water.

The Ugly:

No real ugly but asking four bucks for a bottle of water comes close.

In the end, the question is this:

Will I choose to fly Hawaiian Air again?

Maybe, but you can bet and give odds that I will shop around.

What happened?

My record shows I made my last post February 2019. Been -- what? -- four and a half years and a bit. Why the delay? 

First. 

Wife opened her cafe. Working the cafe took all her time and money. Took all my time and a good portion of my money, too. After some months, got within spitting distance of breaking even. Then -- 

Second. 

The Great Wuhan Flu Epidemic hit. For those who believe the lie that the Wuhan Flu started with a bat in an open air market, please leave. 

Well, that put an end to the cafe. Despite the shutdown of many restaurants, wife got a job as the chef in a company cafeteria. She liked the work, but the job had two drawbacks: long commute (hour and a half each way) and a crazy boss. The crazy boss is not an exaggeration. Turned out she had a brain tumor. When she got the diagnosis, she sold her business. That was -- what? -- September. So two months ago. 

Wife signed up for some cooking courses to get new certifications. In the space between wife leaving her job and her first cooking course, we took a trip. 

Next time: Our trip to Seattle and Hawaiian Airlines good and bad. 

The Trojan War

     For one week only, The Trojan War (part 1). Be of good cheer. Part 2 is coming soon.

The Trojan War
by h lynn keith

. . .is gone! Part 2 coming soon. (Wait for it.) 

TO BE CONTINUED

Apostate 2.2

     Weeks have passed since my last post in the Apostate series. That is because I am going to do something I do not want to do.
     I am going to disagree with Libbie Hawker.

     "OMG I met the perfect guy! Maybe I can fix him." –Women --@MensHumor (Twitter)

     In my view, that quote encapsulates Libbie's paradigm. Libbie sees her hero as starting with a flaw. (She uses the word 'flaw' 155 times in Take Off Your Pants!) The hero has two quests: 1) one to achieve an external goal (toss the ring into Mount Doom) and 2) another to overcome an internal flaw (give up the love of power). The hero fails to achieve the external goal until he has repaired his flaw, overcome his flaw, or grown beyond his flaw.
    One of those. I dunno.

    Libbie's paradigm is valid, and it works. I know it works. I have seen it over and over and over again in countless stories.
     But I find those stories cookie-cutter predictable and a little boring. And they feel 100% fake.

     Who is the hero of Star Wars?
     If, like me, you are old enough to remember the movie as just Star Wars and not as A New Hope, you may think Luke Skywalker is the hero, and it is a coming-of-age story. But once you have the series -- either Episodes IV, V, and VI or Episodes I - VI -- according to Libbie's paradigm, the hero is clearly AnakinSkywalker, aka Darth Vader.
     I don't buy it.

     In The Return of the Jedi, Darth Vader 'fixes' his flaw and defeats the Emperor. (Click the title for the clip to see how contrived the ending is.) At the beginning of the scene, Vader offers Luke a choice: join me or die. Five minutes later, paternal feeling arises and Vader saves Luke from death by flinging the evil (and needlessly ugly) Emperor to his doom. Flaw fixed. External goal -- return to the Light Side -- achieved. All is right with the galaxy.
     Really?

     When did Vader develop this paternal bond?
     Anakin Skywalker was not present when his children were born. He never held either in his arms when they were babes. He did not read to them while snuggled in blankets. He did not walk them to the park. He had no hand in their upbringing.
     Parenting is not instinctual. It is learned. The bond between parent and child is a chainmail shirt that is forged link by link, day by day.
     Vader never had it. George Lucas forced the ending to fit the paradigm.

     That Lucas's story fails is not an indictment of the paradigm. The paradigm of the 'flawed' hero can work.
     But it ain't for me.
     As I see it, people have strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes a trait that is a strength in on situation can be a weakness in another.

     There is a scene in John Carter that defines the man and the movie for me. John Carter dismounts and tells Sola to take Dejah Thoris to safety while he fights the Warhoon to buy them time. He says to Dejah, "I was too late once. I won't be again."
     That's it. That is a man. That is a character.
     A man is defined not by some 'flaw' that he 'fixes' in an epiphany. No. He is defined by all the moments in his life that have gone before, and these build his character and motivate him to rise above the commonplace and fight.
     That is the message of Robin Hood: Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions. Brian Helgeland's version of Robin Hood's story is the best I have seen. It neatly explains the reason a nobleman, Robin Locksley, was capable with a yeoman's weapon, the longbow. But I ask you, at what point does Robin Hood overcome his internal flaw?
     He doesn't.  He is as flawed at the end as he was at the beginning. But he follows the maxim his father chiseled into stone: Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions. And he wins.
     To beat a dead horse, what flaw did Sherlock Holmes overcome? As he was when each story began, so he was when each story ended. Okay, maybe he was a little more arrogant and disdainful of others, but flaw-fixing? Nah. That's not Sherlock's thing. (I'm talking about the original, the Basil Rathbone movies, the Jeremy Brett TV episodes, the Benedict Cumberbatch TV series, and the Robert Downey, Jr, movies. Not the TV series Elementary which tries to inject some flaw-fixing into Holmes. I pay little attention to it, but I do watch it, because I am a big fan of Lucy Liu. I would watch this show just to see her walk into a room. Hey, you like what you want and I'll like what I want.)

     I say again, Libbie's approach is valid and you can use it to write some great stories. If you go down that road, your skeleton outline is right there in the book Take Off Your Pants! All you have to do is add some meat here and there.
     But it ain't my way.

     I shall go back to Rachel Aaron; 2k to 10k: Writing Faster, Writing Better and her three pronged approach: knowledge, time, and enthusiasm.
     Next time, Apostate 3.0.

Stay tuned.

Happy trails.

Links to the posts in this series:
Apostate 2.1
Apostate 2.0
Apostate 1.4
Apostate 1.3
Apostate 1.2
Apostate 1.1
Apostate 1.0
Apostate 0.2
Apostate 0.1
Apostate

Links to the books:
Rachel Aaron; 2k to 10k: Writing Faster, Writing Better
Libbie Hawker; Take Off Your Pants!

Links to the authors' websites:
Rachel Aaron
Libbie Hawker

Coat

     coat

     That was the first word I ever read.

     It was the first hour of the first day of my first year of school. Like my classmates, I sat obedient and quiet and happy and quite a bit curious and more than a little excited in my seat. The teacher walked by the desks and placed a book on each one, each book open to the first page. I saw a picture of a winter coat on one side of the page and another of a country road on the other side. Below each picture was a collection of letters. I knew because I knew my letters from my building blocks.

     All the books distributed, the teacher stood before us and asked, "Who can tell me what the first word is?"

     Jim Morgan raised his hand. The teacher nodded to him and Jim said, "Coat."

     In that instant my world changed. I stared wide-eyed at that word. Coat. I realized that the letters on my building blocks held a power unknown to me before. I saw on that very page that there were other words, and I wondered how many more words letters could make.

     My parents were not readers. They grew up in hard times when all able hands were needed to earn bread to feed the family. But they wanted me to have the education circumstances denied them. They thought books might help with that, and they were easy marks for an encyclopedia salesman. They bought the World Book Encyclopedia (with the yearly update subscription), Lands and Peoples (a multi-volume geography), and the twenty-volume Book of Knowledge. They arranged these books in a built-in bookcase in our living room and never disturbed them.

     I came home from my first day of school with the wonder of words still gripping my imagination. I sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the bookcase and pulled a book from the middle and opened it. There on the page I saw flocks and herds and stampedes of words. I could not read any of them, but I knew that would change.

     I looked up at the books standing in the bookcase and I saw the future, that I would learn the words and one day these books would yield me their secrets.

     coat

     That was the first word I read. I never stopped. 

Revelations

     Neil deGrasse Tyson is a man of faith.
     When I was flipping channels last week, I happened on Neil deGrasse Tyson in debate with a Jesuit priest over the difference between faith and science. At least that was the frame that Dr Tyson put on it. I wish I had a link to a clip of the show, but all my searches have turned up naught. If you have a link to the show, please leave it in a comment. Thank you.
     Anyway, Dr Tyson argued against faith and for science. Science, according to Dr Tyson, is based on evidence and reason. Faith, according to Dr Tyson, is based on assertion. Dr Tyson's argument boils down to show me the money!
     Don't get me wrong. I like Neil Tyson. I think he is affable, personable, and likable. He has accomplished much. And he makes strong arguments.
     When arguing science against faith, it is necessary to know what 'science' is. 'Science' comes from the Latin 'scientia', meaning knowledge. The American Heritage Dictionary defines science as --

1. a. The observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena: new advances in science and technology. 

b. Such activities restricted to a class of natural phenomena: the science of astronomy. 

2. A systematic method or body of knowledge in a given area: the science of marketing

Notice there is nothing in that definition about a search for truth. Science is not about the search for truth. Science is about the quest for knowledge. Knowledge is that which makes our universe comprehensible.
     Dr Tyson argued in favor of science. The priest answered by saying there are two ways to seek knowledge: 1) by systematic discovery (science) and 2) by revelation.
     At that point, I had to leave, so I turned off the TV. But the priest's answer planted a germ of thought in my widdle head.

     Knowledge by science. Knowledge by revelation.

     I meditated and pondered on the priest's answer for days. I have reached the conclusion that almost all our knowledge is gained by revelation.
     Put aside God and a Higher Power and Holy Scriptures and the Bhagavad Gita and all that. Let us restrict ourselves to the subjects that are taught within the college of sciences at universities.
     How do you know the structure of DNA is a double helix?
     How do you know that a water molecule is composed of two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of oxygen?
     How do you know that the Earth orbits the Sun?

     You know these things by revelation.

     Someone told you these things, presented them to you as established facts.
     Someone revealed these things to you.
     Let's take the last question: How do you know that the Earth orbits the Sun? Can you yourself demonstrate this without resort to any authority; that is, books or astronomers.
     Unless you are an astronomer yourself, you cannot. Astronomers themselves could not do so until 300 years ago when the optical quality of telescopes improved enough to give them good resolution. And the proof was not trivial and depended on the eccentricity of the orbit of Mars.
     Most of what we know, we know by revelation. Someone else has made the observations and changed humankind's view of the world. We have faith that that someone gave a true and honest report. If he did not . . . well, we are well and truly screwed.
     Albert Einstein depended upon the accuracy and honesty of Albert Michelson and Edward Morley. Einstein took the results of their experiment at face value and from those crafted his Theories of Relativity.
     What if Michelson and Morley had not been honest? What if, through no fault of their own, their instruments were inaccurate? What if the transcription of the results was in error? There is an historical example of errors in transcription.
     Nicolaus Copernicus was hampered by the fact that the astronomical tables he used to build his model of our planetary system were, in fact, wrong. Errors had crept in when the books were copied. Because everyone used the same tables, nobody realized that they were wrong until Tycho Brahe ordered Johannes Kepler to confirm their accuracy. (I suspect Brahe gave Kepler the assignment to punish him with the execution of a menial task. It is certain Brahe did not know that the results of the task would revolutionize astronomy.) (Despite what Wikipedia says, Copernicus did not put the Sun at the center of the planetary system. He put it near the center, but even the Sun orbited the center of the Copernican system.) For an exposition of how humankind stumbled to its current understanding of who-orbits-what see The Great Ptolemaic Smackdown and The Great Ptolemaic Smackdown and Down-and-Dirty-Mud-Wrassle.
     The fact is that you cannot eyeball the Sun's path across the sky and by that and that alone determine that the Earth orbits the Sun rather than the other way around. No. You need observations of planets taken over a period of years to an accuracy of four decimal places combined with a philosophy that prefers one all-encompassing rule to six partial ones.
     It is doable, but it ain't easy.
     Which is why Neil deGrasse Tyson is a man of faith. He has not done the observations and run the mathematics to show that a heliocentric model of our planetary system is preferable to a geocentric model. Someone told him it was so, and Dr Tyson believed him. Dr Tyson had faith.
     What if the guy was a self-serving liar? Or just had bad data?
     We live more by revelation than by science. It has always been so. It will always be so.
     As it was, is, and shall be, world without end. Amen.

The sky is falling: Amazon changes the way it pays on Kindle Unlimited.

     In case you missed it -- and the odds are you did -- Amazon changed the terms of its payout to authors with works in Kindle Unlimited (KU) and Kindle Owners' Lending Library (KOLL). For convenience, I shall refer to KU and KOLL together as KU.
     What was it before?
     Before, if a reader read more that 10% of a work -- in essence, the 'LOOK INSIDE' portion plus one more word -- that read qualified the work as a 'borrow'. Five readers read the same work past the 10% mark, that made for five borrows. For the author, each borrow earned a portion of the KU pie; that is, a portion of the monies that Amazon allocated from KU subscriptions to pay authors who entered into the KU arrangement. I shall steal from Brad Vance and call these monies BorrowBux.
     I and many others noticed that the Great and Powerful 'Zon did not distinguish among borrows. A borrow of my Skid Row 'Bots (14 pages) counted as much as a borrow of War and Peace (1,298 pages) (not to be confused with Warren Piece, about whom, the less said, the better). The Great and Powerful 'Zon had biased the game in favor of short stories. My reaction was to leave my short stories in KU and withdraw my novels. I got a feeling I'm not the only one.
     How much each borrow earned Amazon determined by dividing that month's BorrowBux by the total number of borrows of all titles enrolled in KU. Each month's BorrowBux amount has been significantly north of $10 million. The consensus among authors was that each borrow earned $1.33 to $1.35 depending on the month. A good deal for any work priced south of $2.99. A bad deal for any work priced at or north of there.
     The amount of monthly BorrowBux is noteworthy for a program that started July 2014 and costs $9.99 a month for each subscriber. Eyeball the numbers and you can see that Amazon has enrolled a million subscribers and then some.
     The question in my mind is whether the Great and Powerful 'Zon was satisfied with a million subscribers and then some. I'm thinking not.
     I'm thinking the Great and Powerful 'Zon wants to move that number up. I'm also thinking a library of short stories ain't gonna make that happen.

     I'm going to step off this logic carousel and catch it at another location. Fear not. I shall put all this together.

     Among KU authors . . . well, among some KU authors there is much crying and moaning and gnashing of teeth. 'Zon changes one thing and everyone loses their minds. "Why, the Great and Powerful 'Zon gave us only two weeks notice of the change! We can't change our business plan that fast! The Great and Powerful 'Zon shoulda woulda coulda given us six weeks notice. Then we would be able to adapt."
     Cry Me a River. 
     July 2014 KU was not there. August 2014 it was. You adapted. So did I. Adapt now or die.
     Me? I'm surprised Amazon futzed up KU with BorrowBux per borrows to begin with. From the beginning, everybody could see that pay-per-borrow skewed the game in favor of short stories. Why did 'Zon do it that way?
     Have you ever worked on a large, I mean truly large software project? I have. Did it deliver when scheduled?
     I think the Great and Powerful 'Zon wanted to launch KU to compete with Scribd and Oyster. The original design was to pay by pages read, the system KU will go to starting July 2015. But the Great and Powerful 'Zon could not get the software to work by the launch date. So the minions of the Great and Powerful 'Zon threw together this pay-by-the-borrow kluge which they could get to work by the launch date. And after it launched, the minions returned to work on the original design. Now that they have it working, the Great and Powerful 'Zon is taking it public. I think the Great and Powerful 'Zon wanted to make the switch yesterday, but that would have turned June into an accounting nightmare. Instead, 'Zon did the next best thing: first of next month.
     You get that, kiddies? The pay-by-the-borrow was a caterpillar. The pay-by-the-page is a butterfly. KU was never meant to be a caterpillar. It was always supposed to be a butterfly. The period from its inception to now was just chrysalis.

     Now another location on the logic carousel.

     The Great and Powerful 'Zon is seen by many and most to be solely concerned with its customers. "Customer first, last, and always." From this perspective, this move is incomprehensible.
     Some (Alan Tucker) say 'Zon changed to answer 'KU subscribers . . . complain[ts] about all the short trash that's been accumulating . . . in the KU pool'. Really? Show me the data.
     Besides, if that were true there are cheaper and more direct ways to clean out the trash. 'Short stories, outa the pool.' 'You must be this tall to ride this ride.'
     Or at the far end, 'Okay, you got a borrow. Your work is X pages long. You will be paid for X pages portion of the total number of borrow-pages as we -- the Great and Powerful 'Zon -- define the total.'
     I don't see how changing the way KU authors get paid directly improves the lot of the KU subscribers. I have strong doubts that 'Zon going to see a great flood of novel-length works entering into KU in July 2015. Looking at 'Zon's previous pattern of behavior, I have Herakles-strong doubts that such ideas cast even a shadow on 'Zon's thoughts.
    Why did the Great and Powerful 'Zon do this? Doing this now means change. Whenever change happens, some win and some lose. Win or lose, many gripe. (A side thought: This is the most remarkable thing about Apple. Apple changes crap all the time, and nobody gripes. Instead, they got fanboys camping out like they were buying tickets for the Rolling Stones Steel Wheelchair Tour, waiting in line to buy an iPhone 6. Man, if Apple could bottle that magic and sell it as perfume, they would drive Chanel out of business.)
     I'm just spitballing here, but I got a thought:

'Zon changed to pay-per-page-read because it's the right thing to do. 

     Who denies that that is fair? It's Truth, Justice, and the American Way!
     We have become so cynical that we mistake virtue for vice. Shame on us. (Yeah, I know, corporations cannot have virtue, but do not mistake for one second that the soul of the Great and Powerful 'Zon is Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos is a man, and men may have honor.)

     By now you have figured out that the Great and Powerful 'Zon means to pay you for each page read. That fee per page is going to be really, really tiny, so you need to get a lot of pages read to keep the money flowing your way. How do you do that?
     You could work your ass off trying to jigger the system.
     Or you could write the best story you know how and give it life. Put it in KU, don't put it in KU. What difference at this point does it make?
     Maybe it makes a difference.
     The consensus is that, in order to take advantage of the pay-for-page-read schema, you want to write page-turners. That means Chilton Publishing and their car-repair manuals are out of the picture. Oops! Chilton is out anyway because the company is dead. But while it was alive and kicking, besides giving me the info I needed to work on my Audi, it managed to publish two Hugo nominees and one Hugo and Nebula winner, Dune. (Rejected 88 times by conventional publishers, Frank Herbert had to turn to the publisher of frelling car-repair manuals to get his book into print. All you defenders of traditional publishers -- I'm looking right at you Mike Shatzkin -- suck it.)
     Who are the kurchatovium readers?
     They are the voracious ones, the ever-hungry. I bet they read two books or more a month, 'cause otherwise the subscription is not economic. They may read bestsellers, but they read more than just bestsellers.
     For KU, LitFic looks like a dead end. Who reads two books a month by Henry James anyway?
     Genre will be king. Romance will thrive; on the slow side, the readers of romance consume a book a week. Mystery/Suspense/Thrillers will do well. So will space opera and other scifi. And Fantasy.
     Maybe Westerns will stage a comeback.
     Erotica will earn its keep.

     Before I wrap this up, a word about how the Great and Powerful 'Zon counts pages.
     I use typesetter's count: 250 words to a page. Makes it easy to figure: 1,000 words = 4 pages.
     'Zon does not use typesetter's count. My count for Skid Row 'Bots is 14 pages. That is also 'Zon's count. But my count for Heart of Stone is 412 pages (novel) + 36 pages (bonus short story) + 5 pages (excerpt); 'Zon's count for everything is 307.
     As near as I can determine, 'Zon counts 325 words to a page. This is what I call editor's count 'cause that's the word count that Eric Flint, the senior editor at Baen Books, uses. It turns out to be the word count per page for mass market paperbacks.
     If you have a different estimate of 'Zon's word count, leave me a comment.

     That's it.
     Now you know
     1) how Amazon used to (and through this month, still does) figure each KU authors share of the BorrowBux;
     2) how Amazon is going to figure shares of BorrowBux;
     3) that Amazon always meant to pay this way but, you know, shyte happened;
     4) this is the right way to pay;
     5) that like as not, genre books will clean up with the changed schema; and
     6) that Amazon counts 325 words to a page.
     That's all folks!